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Faith in Doubt by Matthew Davis |
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I believe in doubt. Without doubt, there is no faith. So how does faith coexist with doubt?
First, we must understand that faith and knowledge are not the same thing. Lynn Anderson offers the following example, which I have paraphrased. If I reached my hand into my pocket and jingled around until I brought out a closed fist and said I had a quarter in my hand and you believed me, that would be faith. You used reasoning by the noise I made while reaching for the coin and maybe used the size of my fist to deduce what I had in my hand. But you cannot know with complete certainty that it is a quarter in my hand. However, I could destroy your faith by revealing that there is a quarter in my hand.
You no longer need faith to see that the quarter is there. It has passed out of the realm of faith and into the realm of knowledge. By feeling and seeing the quarter, you can be certain of its existence. In this sense, both doubt and faith have disappeared, replaced by knowledge.
Anderson is making two points in this example: 1) that faith and knowledge are not the same; and 2) that faith and doubt coexist. I want to focus on the latter and take it a step further and say that they not only coexist but are dependant on each other. For example, you cannot pick up a rock and say you have faith in it, because you already know it exists. The opposite is true as well, because without faith there is nothing to doubt; therefore, there cannot be doubt without faith.
Philip Yancey provides an excellent metaphor to show the connectedness of doubt and faith: "Doubt is the skeleton in the closet of faith, and I know no better way to treat a skeleton than to bring it into the open and expose it for what it is: not something to hide or fear, but a hard structure on which living tissue may grow." Thus, doubt is not something that should be feared as a destructor of faith, but embraced instead as a part of faith.
So then what does faith and doubt working together look like? Faith is a choice to believe in spite of doubt. My faith may be shaken with doubt, but I continue to believe while I try to come to a greater understanding. For example, if I have a relative who is sick, and I pray that God heals him, but He does not, then I might doubt in God and his love. But instead of deserting my faith, I should continue believing in God and his love while seeking understanding. This understanding might not always be easy and may not always be completely answered. It might also be necessary to change my understanding of what God's character truly is or to remember that this is a fallen world. Yet through all of this, I will continue believing in God, trusting that what he is doing is right and just.
This is how I believe that doubt and faith are intertwined. It does not mean doubt is enjoyable by any means, but that faith should not be abandoned when challenged by doubt. Therefore, I believe in doubt, because it is essential to faith as a stepping stone to gaining a deeper relationship with God.
Matthew Davis is an accounting major from Malibu, California.
